Hello Swarm Single Moms
Today is the day after Christmas and people often laugh at those who go out shopping the day after this holiday. It may seem funny, however, it is a great way to save on holiday paper, boxes and accoutrements for gift wrapping. It is actually a good day to save on indoor and outdoor lights, artificial Christmas trees, wreaths and ornaments. But it is not the only way to save on holiday decorations. In fact, throughout the year, estate sales and yard sales will have great savings on decorations.
You should keep some things in mind when buying second hand, though. First of all, if for any reason an item you purchase second hand has been recalled, you may not know about it and you could end up purchasing an item of iffy quality. Secondly, items like lights may not work properly and/or not come with replaceable lights. So the money you think you may be saving, may not end up so. I do suggest making second hand purchases for items such as ornaments, wreaths, dinner ware, table cloths and other clothing/material items.
Since I work the day after Christmas, I make plans to hit the stores after work. I have a plan and don't usually deviate from it. I know what I want ahead of time so I can maximize my shopping. This year I am looking for electric candles for the windows. That's all! But I know as I make my rounds I will pick up tape, ribbons and labels. There are always plenty leftover from the early bird shoppers and this is my way to ensure that Santa has new and unseen paper with which to wrap our gifts.
Happy shopping and savings SwarmMoms and remember the savings do not end the day after Christmas . . . nor should the joy of the season . . .
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Christmas Day
Hello Swarm Single Moms
Happy Holiday . . . Merry Christmas
The holidays can be bleak some years for some single moms. Usually that happens when your children are with your ex and his side of the family and you are alone (or not alone, but still missing your kids). Sometimes there are barriers to celebrations (i,e, travel prohibitions, financial constraints, etc) and when you can not have the holiday you want, make the best of where you are and keep in mind all the blessings and joys there are in your life.
If the Swarm Single Mom has not planned ahead for her holiday with the children, it can be a challenging time. But, believe it or not, spending a holiday on your own can actually make for a positive experience.
Plan a different day to celebrate the holiday with your kids when you are together. Spend the day you have (when alone) in gratitude and thanksgiving. Think about all the blessings in your life (job, health, having your needs met ...) and give of yourself in thanksgiving to your community. Seize the day and volunteer at a non-profit that is open and in need of helpers. (Try to contact them ahead of time so they can plan the day around your help and reschedule someone who may want the day off). There are many non-profits out there, you just have to do some digging.
Another way to spend your holiday is by volunteering to switch work days with a co-worker who is scheduled to work, but who would appreciate the day with their family. This plan works well in hospital settings, airports, emergency service organizations ... or any business that is open during the holidays. It also is a great gift to a co-worker who may have been scheduled to work because of low seniority. Switching may give you a better day to share with your loved ones. Also consider that working the holiday may give you double pay (holiday pay) and a comp day at a later date. These are two really big reasons for switching, but your gift of trading days with a co-worker with plans is HUGE!
So Swarm Single Moms I hope this post finds you in good spirits and with happy thoughts.
Merry Christmas and Good Tidings to You!!
Happy Holiday . . . Merry Christmas
The holidays can be bleak some years for some single moms. Usually that happens when your children are with your ex and his side of the family and you are alone (or not alone, but still missing your kids). Sometimes there are barriers to celebrations (i,e, travel prohibitions, financial constraints, etc) and when you can not have the holiday you want, make the best of where you are and keep in mind all the blessings and joys there are in your life.
If the Swarm Single Mom has not planned ahead for her holiday with the children, it can be a challenging time. But, believe it or not, spending a holiday on your own can actually make for a positive experience.
Plan a different day to celebrate the holiday with your kids when you are together. Spend the day you have (when alone) in gratitude and thanksgiving. Think about all the blessings in your life (job, health, having your needs met ...) and give of yourself in thanksgiving to your community. Seize the day and volunteer at a non-profit that is open and in need of helpers. (Try to contact them ahead of time so they can plan the day around your help and reschedule someone who may want the day off). There are many non-profits out there, you just have to do some digging.
Another way to spend your holiday is by volunteering to switch work days with a co-worker who is scheduled to work, but who would appreciate the day with their family. This plan works well in hospital settings, airports, emergency service organizations ... or any business that is open during the holidays. It also is a great gift to a co-worker who may have been scheduled to work because of low seniority. Switching may give you a better day to share with your loved ones. Also consider that working the holiday may give you double pay (holiday pay) and a comp day at a later date. These are two really big reasons for switching, but your gift of trading days with a co-worker with plans is HUGE!
So Swarm Single Moms I hope this post finds you in good spirits and with happy thoughts.
Merry Christmas and Good Tidings to You!!
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Holiday helpers
Good Morning Swarm Moms
We are just days away from Christmas and this is a high pressure time for us. As the head of household during this holiday season we are often in a position of completing last minute holiday preps. There is shopping, cooking, baking, wrapping and decorating to do, but mostly there is merriment to be created and sustained in the midst of all the chaos.
If you have planned according to the SWARM suggestions, your finances will remain intact if you have set yourself up by planning ahead. Keeping a list of what you need, making purchases ahead of time and remembering to gather your kids for chore assignments. Assigning chores will allow the kids to really feel as though they had a part in your family's celebrations. If you know your children's strength, this will also give them the opportunity to shine.
When I was a child of 12 or so, I began to take on the cookie baking for our holidays. I was a bit quirky and often strayed from using the traditional color for sugar cookies by making purple trees and green stockings. Nobody was there to interrupt my creativity so I was very empowered to do what I wanted. During the celebration with extended family I proudly brought the cookies out and could not be knocked down by disgruntled comments about my non-traditional colors. In fact, I was very proud of my cookies because 1) they tasted great 2) they looked fabulous and 3) there were adults at the celebrations who I knew enjoyed my adventures in baking and they went along happily for the ride.
My mother did not specifically give me this chore of baking. I took it. My older sisters either removed themselves from the baking because of school work, after school jobs or plain disinterest. My oldest sister was very handy at wrapping and sewing and made us all new (and larger) Christmas stockings one year. Another sister liked to clean. She didn't mind cleaning up to prepare for the Christmas party and she was the first one to pull the plates off the table when she was determined the meal was over.
All children have chores they may gravitate toward, often not even thinking about them as chores. Watch your children and pay attention to what household 'chores' they gravitate toward and allow them the gift of not interfering. You may need more help from them then they are willing to offer so write down what needs to be done and, depending on the number of helpers you will have, let them pick the number of tasks that will allow for even distribution.
Using the helpers you have on hand will keep your holiday time less stressful and it will allow for active participation in the holiday season. This will make your children feel valued . . . and that is the best gift you can give anyone. Enjoy! Enjoy! Enjoy!
Love and Peace,
Sharon, Director at Swarm
We are just days away from Christmas and this is a high pressure time for us. As the head of household during this holiday season we are often in a position of completing last minute holiday preps. There is shopping, cooking, baking, wrapping and decorating to do, but mostly there is merriment to be created and sustained in the midst of all the chaos.
If you have planned according to the SWARM suggestions, your finances will remain intact if you have set yourself up by planning ahead. Keeping a list of what you need, making purchases ahead of time and remembering to gather your kids for chore assignments. Assigning chores will allow the kids to really feel as though they had a part in your family's celebrations. If you know your children's strength, this will also give them the opportunity to shine.
When I was a child of 12 or so, I began to take on the cookie baking for our holidays. I was a bit quirky and often strayed from using the traditional color for sugar cookies by making purple trees and green stockings. Nobody was there to interrupt my creativity so I was very empowered to do what I wanted. During the celebration with extended family I proudly brought the cookies out and could not be knocked down by disgruntled comments about my non-traditional colors. In fact, I was very proud of my cookies because 1) they tasted great 2) they looked fabulous and 3) there were adults at the celebrations who I knew enjoyed my adventures in baking and they went along happily for the ride.
My mother did not specifically give me this chore of baking. I took it. My older sisters either removed themselves from the baking because of school work, after school jobs or plain disinterest. My oldest sister was very handy at wrapping and sewing and made us all new (and larger) Christmas stockings one year. Another sister liked to clean. She didn't mind cleaning up to prepare for the Christmas party and she was the first one to pull the plates off the table when she was determined the meal was over.
All children have chores they may gravitate toward, often not even thinking about them as chores. Watch your children and pay attention to what household 'chores' they gravitate toward and allow them the gift of not interfering. You may need more help from them then they are willing to offer so write down what needs to be done and, depending on the number of helpers you will have, let them pick the number of tasks that will allow for even distribution.
Using the helpers you have on hand will keep your holiday time less stressful and it will allow for active participation in the holiday season. This will make your children feel valued . . . and that is the best gift you can give anyone. Enjoy! Enjoy! Enjoy!
Love and Peace,
Sharon, Director at Swarm
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Holiday budget and social gatherings
Hello Swarm Single Moms
As you may have read in a recent post, we have decided to move the book review posts to just after the new year, and because of this adjustment, the plan is to take this opportunity and practice what you have learned about finance planning and protecting your finances.
One of the big lessons we learned this past year focused on being honest about your money. What can you afford? This holiday season is a great time to revisit your finance plans and to be proactive in safeguarding your savings.
This is a time of gift giving and celebratory meals with family, friends and even co-workers. But you should tread carefully during the season. Money zappers are everywhere. You must be mindful of them. And with your finance planning in place, you will be able to make it through the season, savings plan intact.
You always hear that writing out a list and sticking to it, prevents you from overspending. It is true, but I think it is the planning ahead that really prevents overspending. You need to plan how much you have to spend on the whole holiday season; gift giving as well as all holiday acoutraments. If you have a number to work with you can make smart finance decisions. When you have a number in mind that you can not go over, anything you find that is over that number, can be disregarded. You do not need to think about it at all. Just walk away. That is the beauty of having a plan. It empowers you to walk away. And... it empowers you to look for new and more meaningful ways to celebrate.
Consider forgoing the gift giving amongst adult family and friends. Find ways to hang out and spend time together so your spending is minimal and you can stay on track all the while remaining honest about your ability to spend money, (or your desire to save).
Celebratory meals do not have to take place in a restaurant. Celebrate at home, buffet style. Have folks bring a dish to share. Tell stories and share your life without a server standing by, wanting to usher you out to bring in a new group. Save the tip for a food bank! You can have a really great meal with friends and family at home at your leisure. Be prepared with games and cards, karioke and good old fashion singing around the piano. Get help with the clean up and connect with your peeps. Holiday meals present the best opportunity for happy memories for yourself and your family. You can spread the happy times throughout December and into the new year by gathering at different homes.
If you are intent on dining out, consider luncheons instead of dinners.
If you are planning on dining with friends and you want to stick to your budget, check online coupon sites, (i.e. Groupon) for deals. They often will sell coupons that are good toward food at various local restaurants for up to half off. You can also get a two for one coupon to share. I like this approach for times when you absolutely, positively must go out. Because sometimes... you just do!
One last thought on the holiday celebration meal is to omit the meal and volunteer at a local food bank - then go out for beverages, (coffee, hot cocoa, etc...). This is actually my favorite way to hang out with friends. It is time well spent, with a feeling of accomplishing something good. It is my selfish gift to myself.
Happy day to all you Swarm moms! May your day be filled with pleasant and insightful ways to save and spend!
Saturday, December 7, 2013
My money memories
Hello Swarm Single Moms
You have had some time to consider your 'feels' about money. What did you uncover?
I uncovered two distinct 'feels' about money that may still influence my money habits.
I uncovered the memories of loving to make money.
When I was a child I would go up and down the streets in my neighborhood to do chores so I could grow my savings. I was a workhorse. I would babysit regularly for couples on their date nights, I would cut grass, rake leaves, do the dishes of my neighbors just so I could add to my savings.
I was the kid in the neighborhood who organized carnivals, horror houses and lemonade stands. I had a neighbor, Mr. Klemowitz who would see me at my lemonade stand and would bring me a box of candy bars to sell that he had gotten from one of his store's inventory. It was a rush for me to wake up Saturday morning and ride my bike down to the bank to make my deposit. This was the seventies, a time when the bank teller actually wrote the new figures into your bank book and then initialed it. I would leave the bank thinking about where and how I would earn my next deposit. Happy Memories!!
I also uncovered unfair and unequal pay.
I worked very hard for my money; always hustling to make more. And then one day I discovered that my neighbor, who paid me $1.50 to cut his grass, paid my brothers and the other boys in the neighborhood $2.00. Instead of demanding the same pay, I quit cutting his lawn. I never went back.
The same sort of thing happened when I took a job as a pharmacy runner at a local hospital. One of the guys that I worked with was making 25 cents an hour more than me. We were doing the same job and our previous work experiences were similar. And...I was a workhorse, always trying to better my times and my deliveries. Meanwhile, he spent time on long breaks, called in sick - (often) and wasn't interested in being there. Regardless, he and I became great friends, as did our whole team, so one night when we went to the bar after our shift, I was jolted to learn of the earnings discrepancy! And in retrospect ... I am remembering being humorously vocal at the fact that my my female co-workers were not bothered at all!
This exercise in focusing on childhood (and young adulthood) memories of money made me realize a few things about my self:
In my youth I quit more than one promising job over wage discrepancy and unfair work practices and I am passionate about fairness. I can say this now as I recognize this characteristic in myself because I have a child with the same intense passion for fairness. Some people just don't care and others really do.
I also uncovered the fact that I do love to work. I love the physical aspects of some jobs and I love to create things and events, including this Grassroots organization, 'Swarm for Single Moms'.
*Note (I may have left jobs over pay inequality, but I have also left high paying jobs when I felt like the corporate values were too different from mine.)
At the very core of my self-discovery these past few weeks, was the reminder that I work best in a position where I feel valued and as such, am paid equally for like work (or better than equal if I go consistently above and beyond expectations). I also thought about the fact that an employer needs to understand an employee's value - if they do not see it, help them see it. If they still don't see it, then you should begin looking for opportunities elsewhere.
This was a good exercise to help think about money and memories of money, but it is also a good exercise to get you thinking about how you make your money. Are you happy in your job??? Carl Jung the psychoanalyst said (and yes, I am paraphrasing...) If you want to know what you should do with your life, think back on your childhood and what made you happy. What did you do when you were young that brought you joy. Very often you can translate a childhood happiness into an adult focus...within reason!
You have had some time to consider your 'feels' about money. What did you uncover?
I uncovered two distinct 'feels' about money that may still influence my money habits.
I uncovered the memories of loving to make money.
When I was a child I would go up and down the streets in my neighborhood to do chores so I could grow my savings. I was a workhorse. I would babysit regularly for couples on their date nights, I would cut grass, rake leaves, do the dishes of my neighbors just so I could add to my savings.
I was the kid in the neighborhood who organized carnivals, horror houses and lemonade stands. I had a neighbor, Mr. Klemowitz who would see me at my lemonade stand and would bring me a box of candy bars to sell that he had gotten from one of his store's inventory. It was a rush for me to wake up Saturday morning and ride my bike down to the bank to make my deposit. This was the seventies, a time when the bank teller actually wrote the new figures into your bank book and then initialed it. I would leave the bank thinking about where and how I would earn my next deposit. Happy Memories!!
I also uncovered unfair and unequal pay.
I worked very hard for my money; always hustling to make more. And then one day I discovered that my neighbor, who paid me $1.50 to cut his grass, paid my brothers and the other boys in the neighborhood $2.00. Instead of demanding the same pay, I quit cutting his lawn. I never went back.
The same sort of thing happened when I took a job as a pharmacy runner at a local hospital. One of the guys that I worked with was making 25 cents an hour more than me. We were doing the same job and our previous work experiences were similar. And...I was a workhorse, always trying to better my times and my deliveries. Meanwhile, he spent time on long breaks, called in sick - (often) and wasn't interested in being there. Regardless, he and I became great friends, as did our whole team, so one night when we went to the bar after our shift, I was jolted to learn of the earnings discrepancy! And in retrospect ... I am remembering being humorously vocal at the fact that my my female co-workers were not bothered at all!
This exercise in focusing on childhood (and young adulthood) memories of money made me realize a few things about my self:
In my youth I quit more than one promising job over wage discrepancy and unfair work practices and I am passionate about fairness. I can say this now as I recognize this characteristic in myself because I have a child with the same intense passion for fairness. Some people just don't care and others really do.
I also uncovered the fact that I do love to work. I love the physical aspects of some jobs and I love to create things and events, including this Grassroots organization, 'Swarm for Single Moms'.
*Note (I may have left jobs over pay inequality, but I have also left high paying jobs when I felt like the corporate values were too different from mine.)
At the very core of my self-discovery these past few weeks, was the reminder that I work best in a position where I feel valued and as such, am paid equally for like work (or better than equal if I go consistently above and beyond expectations). I also thought about the fact that an employer needs to understand an employee's value - if they do not see it, help them see it. If they still don't see it, then you should begin looking for opportunities elsewhere.
This was a good exercise to help think about money and memories of money, but it is also a good exercise to get you thinking about how you make your money. Are you happy in your job??? Carl Jung the psychoanalyst said (and yes, I am paraphrasing...) If you want to know what you should do with your life, think back on your childhood and what made you happy. What did you do when you were young that brought you joy. Very often you can translate a childhood happiness into an adult focus...within reason!
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