Coupons

Hi SWARM Moms!

Coupons.

Do you use them?  

or

Do you cut them out or print them, but leave them at home?

Here is SWARM's take on the coupon experience and why it is beneficial to your financial plan.

     Think of coupons as money.  You wouldn't throw away coins and bills would you?  Well, you shouldn't throw away coupons, either.  If you want to save money using coupons, you will soon find that the amount of time necessary to reap some solid rewards is quite small.  You can do it from the privacy of your own home, in your pjs...  and in less than an hour per week.  The money you save over time really can add up. In fact, keep track of your savings over a period of time (lets say three months) and you will come to understand how coupons can help you make the most of your hard earned money. Create a family fun fund and deposit the savings for use in a family activity.

The Process of Couponing
     Yes, there is a couponing process. It involves scissors, a notebook, a pen and a container to store the coupons.  Also important is the newspaper with the coupon circulars, your local grocery store's sales paper,(usually found in the newspapers, most often on a Sunday), a printer and/or the internet.  If you go online you will find hundreds of sites dedicated to coupon enthusiasts.  SWARM says:  Avoid sites that charge a fee, it is unnecessary and a waste of your money.  There are plenty of free sites.

     Next, as you go through your week, you will need to keep an ongoing list of items to purchase on your next shopping trip.  Keep this list in a central location (the fridge is good) so all family members can contribute as they see a need for items you are running low on (think toilet paper, tooth paste, etc...)
Collect this list on coupon clipping day and it will direct you as you search for savings.

Pair the information
     Once you have gathered your tools, you will need to discern from your list, papers and coupons what specific products you are going to purchase.  Start by 'pairing' or matching up the information.
As you read through the store sale papers you might see items on sale, that you would normally buy.  Check through your coupons for any that match those items.  When you have a match, write a c/s (coupon/sale) next to the item on your grocery list.  This will give you a heads up at the store that you have a coupon and it is a store sale item.   This information is helpful because sometimes stores have items listed as sale, but the information did not get entered into their 'pos' (point of sales) register.  In some states, i.e. Michigan, if an item is listed as 'sale', but you are charged full price you get money back which exceeds the non-sale price. You should always check your receipt to ensure you have been charged the right price. Do this before you leave the store. Chances are you are not driving back later on to get your refund.  Stores know this! Now you do, too!  (At the end of this post I have also posted information about the law for the state of Michigan re: overcharging, scanning errors and the penalties. Even more reason to pay attention to the amount you pay for each item!)

     Follow this same search procedure online as you look for savings on items you know you want to buy. In fact, you can often go directly to the manufacturers website and download coupons for many items you did not find in the circulars.  Please note...Some stores only allow for one coupon per item, but others are less stringent.  Find the stores that allow for duplicate coupon savings and stores that have a day for doubling the value of the coupons. (More ways to take advantage of even more savings.)

The following is an example of the theory behind the coupon/sale (c/s) application. 

*** Let's say you have a $1.00 coupon for cereal.  The coupon indicates you must purchase two boxes in order for the coupon to be valid.  Kroger has that cereal on sale for 2.99 a box. It regularly cost 3.50/box. If you were to buy 2 boxes at full price you would spend $7.00.  Combining the coupon with the stores sale allows you to buy 2 boxes of cereal for $4.98. (2 x 2.99 = $5.98 - 1.00 = $4.98) Your savings on the cereal is $ 2.02 (7.00 - 4.98 = 2.02). Would you throw out $2.02? Probably not! 

     And that $2.02 is just the beginning.  Who knows how much savings you can garnish in one trip, not to mention all the trips you make over the course of time, let's say three months.

     ***  Get to know your stores.  Some stores will not double coupons over .50 cents. Some stores will not allow for combining coupons from manufacturers with circular coupons, while others will.  Pay attention to store policies to capture the biggest savings.  Most stores do have customer loyalty programs that allow you to save on merchandise on every visit.  So even if a specific store has restrictions, there will always be ways to save money.

 To get the best savings, and when possible, try to combine your coupon with a store 'sale' price, plus a store loyalty coupon.  This is the big coconut of savings. The grand slam, if you will!

     Now, you can take this savings and put it into your 'family fun fund' and at the end of every month take it to the bank and deposit it into a special savings account just for family fun.  DO SOMETHING FUN with your family!  Put it toward family vacations (maybe a tankful or two of gas) or tickets to upcoming events. This is a small, very easy way to save money over time. It will show your kids how to grow money and will allow for more activities without you deducting from your financial savings plan.

     If you are like many single moms, your life is a flurry of activity.  Get the kids involved in coupon clipping.  Have them help or lead the way.  You can even extend the fun by having them create meals using only foods purchased with coupons or foods that are on sale.

Just a quick note
***Rarely have we found actual coupons for steak, hamburger, pork, fish or chicken, stores do give them out occasionally, so speak with the store manager to score some.

Things to remember
     Don't use coupons to purchase goods you will not ever use.  It is just a waste of your time, money and your living space.  If you have any products in your house that you will never use,  donate these products to a neighbor or create a space at work where employees can bring and share items they don't want.  Your co-workers can take what they can use.  It is a great way to recycle coupons, food or other products.

     Do use coupons to try new product.  It's better than paying full price for something you are not sure you will want to have again.  If you find you are unhappy with the product, donate it.  Take it to that newly created space at work where you can donate such items.  This is being green and SWARM loves promoting green.

     Once you are in the habit of using coupons, in order to be efficient, you must be mindful of the expiration dates.  Always use the short dated coupons before the longer dated coupons.  This simply means that if you have duplicate coupons, but with different expiration dates, use the coupon that expires sooner, first.  If you find you will not be using 'soon to expire' coupons, consider sharing them with your co-workers, neighbors or local single moms club.  Saving money is a big deal in this economy and who doesn't want to save?  SWARM has even shared coupons in the grocery store!

     Do sign up for the customer loyalty programs, most allow you to earn points toward cheaper gas and free or greatly reduced products that you frequently purchase.  Join these programs at each store you shop.  Often the sale prices advertised in circulars are dependent on the loyalty program.  If you ever forget your card tell the cashier you want them to use the store card.  This is a card the cashier keeps at the cash register.  It is intended for use by customers who forget theirs.  The cashier may not offer it.  You must ask.  If they deny your request, ask for the manager.  Try not to forget the card, though.  You only earn points when you use your card.  These cards come in two different sizes, one is the size of a credit care and the other fits your keychain.  SWARM recommends the keychain!

     You can not use the coupons if you do not bring them to the store with you.  So, when you have completed the process of couponing, promptly put the coupons into your car.  Depending on the size of the container, you may be able to fit it into your glove compartment. Otherwise, do like we do at SWARM and place it in the trunk with your recyclable shopping bags.

     If you find yourself with expired coupons, promptly weed them out.  Discarding expired coupons before you shop will prevent you from attempting to make a purchase with a useless piece of paper, and useless is what a coupon becomes after it expires.

**** Important Exception *****
Military families are able to use expired coupons for sometimes up to six months after the expiration date.  So if you know of any military families, or would like to help out military families, go to www.facebook.com/ExpiredCouponsforOverseasMilitary and you can learn more about the program.

Note
     SWARM recommends that you do not pay to access sites for coupons as there are plenty of free sites available.  However, SWARM does recommend purchasing coupons from sites that offer discounts on restaurants, retail shops or other businesses, both local and national.  These sites provide an opportunity to purchase goods and services for up to 50% off, allowing the customer to buy a $25.00 coupon that will return $50.00 worth of goods.  Sign up for emails at any of the many, many sites online and start saving money on oil changes, amusement parks and even your local favorite pub.  Just think, you could purchase an activity for the weekend, a school break or even summer vacation. There are limitations, so read the fine print.

Improving the quality of your life... the SWARM way.


*****State of Michigan law regarding being overcharged and scanning overcharges, including penalties.This information was accessed by SWARM via www.michiganlegalaid.org/library_client/elder/item.

What does the law require?
Sellers are required to put the price on any item sold for retail. The price must be in ‘regular’ numbers, not just in barcode. Failing to do so is a violation of the act, enforceable by the Michigan Department of Agriculture.

What if I’m overcharged?
The Michigan item pricing law requires that you be refunded the amount overcharged. The seller’s failure to refund your money is grounds for you to sue in small claims court for $250. The law has a special penalty if you are overcharged because the seller used a scanner.

What are the penalties if I’m overcharged by a scanner?
In addition to the overcharge refund, you are to be paid a penalty by eh seller. The penalty is between $1.00 and $5.00, depending on how much you were overcharged.

How is the scanner penalty calculated?
The penalty is 10 times the overcharge, with a minimum penalty of one dollar and a maximum penalty of five dollars. You are to get the penalty in addition to the overcharge refund.

Some examples:

1. 
   You were charged $.99 for an item marked $.97
   The overcharge is $.2
   Penalty is $.2 x 10 = $.20 Because this is less than the minimum penalty, the $1.00 minimum applies. The seller should give you $1.02 ( The overcharge plus penalty).
2. 
   You were charged $.95 for an item marked $.15
   The overcharge is $.70
   The penalty is $.70 x 10 = $7.00 Because this is more than the $5.00 maximum penalty, the $5.00 maximum applies. The seller should give you $5.70 (The overcharge plus penalty).
3. 
   You were charged $.75 for an item marked $.60
   The overcharge is $.15
   The penalty is $.15 x 10 = $1.50
   The seller should give you $1.65 (the overcharge plus penalty).
4. 
   You bought 6 cans of soup. You were charged $.95 for each one, although they were marked $.80.
   You are entitled to all the overcharged refund and the penalty which is based on one item.
   The overcharge is $.15 x 6 = $.90
   The penalty is $.15 x 10 + $1.50. The seller should give you $2.40 ($.90 + $1.50).

If the seller refuses to give you the penalty amount, you may go to court to collect the $250 damage award set by law, plus up to $300 in attorney fees.

What do I need to prove a scanner overcharge?You need 1) a sale by scanner, 2) a price marked on the item, and 3) the sales receipt describing the item and showing a different price. If the sale was not made while using a scanner, the seller is violating the act by overcharging, but the penalty provision does not apply. You must go to court for damage as state in Question 3.

When can I claim the penalty?You have up to 30 days after the purchase. You do not need to leave the store and come back. You do not need to wait 48 hours to make your claim. (The seller can, however, take up to 48 hour to pay the penalty on the refund).

What if I am overcharged because the new sale price was not marked on the item and the scanner charged the presale price?
For example, the soup is marked $.95 on the can, but the store is advertising a special of $.85 a can. The scanner prices the can at $.95. In this case, you have been overcharged, and are entitled to a refund of $.10. You are also entitled to take the store to court for the $250 damage award if the store’s sale item did not meet the special rules about listing and posting prices conspicuously (described above). However, because the (wrongly) marked price and the scanner price were the same, the scanner penalty does not apply. This result is caused by an odd glitch in the law’s language.

The Habit of Taking Care of YOU!

    Happy Thursday SWARM Moms!

     As we learned in a previous post: Your independence is dependent upon you having control over your finances!   Have you taken any steps to improve the quality of your financial life?  If yes, please consider sharing what you have learned with us.  After all, this is the goal of the SWARM community!

     SWARM is always thinking about what single moms can do to move forward into a more financially secure future.  Today we share some thoughts on different ways to improve your physical sense of well being while improving your chances for a better financial future.  It's begins with developing the habit of taking care of you.

     If you are not already in the habit of taking care of yourself, this could be very challenging. After all, we are supposed to nurture those around us.  Sometimes it is hard to find time for ourselves.  The truth is, we can't take care of others unless we are also take care of ourselves.

Are you wondering how  this is going to relate to your finances?

     Simple.  If you don't take care of yourself, your health suffers, your family suffers and your finances suffer.  It is expensive to be sick in this country.  Even if you have insurance, chances are good that it does not pay for everything.  Most insured Americans have some sort of co-pay, a healthy size deductible and a limited amount of paid sick days.  This means that if you get sick enough you will end up taking money out of your savings plan (if you have one) and re-directing that money to pay your bills.

     You can be proactive with your health and incorporate some preventative measures to ease the financial burden of illnesses that may come your way.  Yes, there are some real steps you can take to help keep you up and running.

     Start with healthy eating.  It seems as though we hear of new 'super foods' on a fairly regular basis and just as common are the updated lists of foods we need to limit or avoid, (i.e. eggs). Then inevitably, the findings are reversed and it appears that foods, once thought to be unhealthy (eggs),  aren't really that bad for you (in moderation).

      In Moderation.
When we are told that eggs (or anything else) are ok in moderation, it simply means that moderate quantities are fine. This is reasonable advice and it holds true for almost everything in life.  Moderation.  Nothing in excess. Balanced.

     Common Knowledge...fruits, veggies, lean meats, fish, low-fat dairy, plenty of water...
For most people these are the foods you should be eating.  Limit or avoid junk food, alcohol and soda pop. These are money wasters.  Consuming these products is equivalent to throwing your money away.  There are no benefits to junk food, including alcohol.  I know there are lots of stories and studies about red wine,  You can get the same benefit of red wine from grape juice.

***  Try this experiment.  Add up the receipts from the junk food you have purchased for the previous month and multiply that number by 12.  This is money you could use for something else.  Something of value; a life experience perhaps.

     Please note, SWARM  info sharing is not meant to replace the advice of a doctor, you will need to find out from your physician what your body needs to maintain or attain optimal health. You may be someone who must avoid certain foods. Do yourself a favor and find out.

Exercise
     Healthy eating is good, but, it is not the only part of this 'self-loving' habit that you need to incorporate into your life.

     'A body in motion, tends to stay in motion...'  (Isaac Newton)  And a body that stops moving gets very comfortable in its inactivity (SWARM).  Don't be that single mom!  Get up off that couch, get out of that driver seat, (you are more than a chauffeur!) and lace up those sneakers. Get moving! Never let an opportunity to exercise pass you by. It is not selfish to take a 30 minute walk, go for a bike ride or learn to play golf. Our bodies need to move in order to stay fit, so the next time you drop your child off at a school function, go out to the track and walk a couple of miles.

     *** Get with your physician to find out if you have any health issues that may prevent you from beginning an exercise routine.  This really is necessary in order to start any sort of rigorous exercising program and if you are a beginner, you don't know what is rigorous for your body.  Your doctor can tell you.  Once you have your doctors ok to begin or increase your level of activity, it is imperative that you begin right away.  Why? Because you will reap the rewards the first day, (even if you are a bit sore the next morning).  You will be building strength and endurance, increasing your energy level, releasing hormones that help reduce stress. Best of all, exercise will help you look and feel better. A huge psychological lift!

Quiet  Reflection
    Working in tandem with exercise and healthy eating is prayer and meditation.  There are many health benefits associated with removing yourself from the chaos that is life, if only for a few moments, and taking some tine to pray or meditate.  This may be the point where you asked incredulously, 'how is quiet time ever going to happen?'  If your children are young and take naps, make this your personal quiet time.  If you have older children and they participate in activities that involve you driving them to or from said activity, arrive early and pray/meditate while you wait.  Otherwise, you can always get up early, stay up late or, if you work, make lunch time your reflective time.  You will notice an improved difference in your ability to focus and concentrate and you might have a bit more patience for those temper tantrums, the teen angst or those annoying co-workers. Less stress and a more peaceful psyche... not a bad investment of your time.  Try to do this for 15-20 minutes a day. Seriously!

Social Life
     It is really important to have a social life.  As single moms, this can be very challenging.  You might think, ok, I understand the need for a healthy diet and exercise, prayer and meditation, but really, a social life?  Single moms need to maintain healthy relationships outside of the family.  It doesn't matter if you have 1 good friend or 20, you must maintain and make time  for your social relationships.  The benefit to having a social life away from the family is maintaining your personal identity.  This is really important because you are really important and who you are matters.  If you were married your social life would revolve around you and your partner, as well as your family. As a single mom, however, your time is rarely your own, and you might not be focused on making it so.

Spending time with friends allows us freedoms that you can not always get with your family.   This is not selfish. This is necessary.

      Healthy body. . . Healthy mind. . .Healthy relationships . . .

I hope this post has served as a reminder of how important it is to take care of yourself and the benefits associated with doing so. It's not just about peace of mind and looking better, it's about the potential to create and have the life you want to have.  Each moment is precious.  Every moment matters.  Spend your time wisely!

The State of Your Independence

Happy (Belated) 4th of July, SWARM Readers!

Independence is being able to make your own decisions to have control over your life.

     As we celebrate the holiday of Independence, tell me this, what is the state of your independence?  Are you as independent as you would like to be?

      If you are like most single moms, your finances and your independence are closely woven together. Money is what allows us to do what we want to do. It gains us control over our lives and especially over our future.  The more money you have for your needs, the more money you have for your wants.  One way to gain control right this very moment is to stop and examine how you spend your money.  Who and what is getting your your hard earned cash?

     In the previous post, we learned that in the year 2012,  the wage gap between men and women is still raging on.  We shared an example of how this gap steals financial opportunities from women, and that the money lost, affects our day to day spendings, as well as our potential for a healthy financial future.  We learned that the gap of 25% amounts to a loss of $100,000 over a ten year period for a woman who makes 15.00/hr compared to a man employed in the same position (similar education and experience) who makes 20.00/hr.

     Now that you know you are not on a level playing field you must begin to make financial decisions that will help you hold on to more of your earnings.  Not only will your finances improve, but your independence will grow and your children can be witnesses to the process of money making decisions that will help improve their quality of life.

     

    Hardly a day goes by that a single mom doesn't encounter a situation where she needs to make a decision that will affect her finances.  There are times in her life that, if she only had a little more knowledge on a specific subject, she would have been able to make a better financial decision. Sometimes it's that additional information that can help prevent overspending, resulting in enough of a savings to purchase a tank of gas, pay a utility bill, buy some groceries, or put into a savings account.

Consider this story: 

     I went to have my car's oil changed at a repair shop that performs both my regular maintenance and emergency repairs. After the oil was changed and the liquids replenished, I was told that I would also need an air filter.  The mechanic explained that they used to change the air filter as part of the oil change, but with the price of oil so high, it is a procedure all its own.   I asked him how much it would cost.  He replied, '$17.00 for the part and $45.00 for the labor' (this was based on the half hour rate).  I asked if the change was something that absolutely must be done now or could it wait?   With a concerned look on his face, he answered that he would have it done 'as soon as possible'.

     I am not a mechanic. I am a mother on a budget. A mother with a child who rides in my car (I'm thinking safety here),  so... on the ride home, (after declining the service), I stopped by an auto parts store.  I went in and asked the clerk for the price of an air filter ($17.00). I questioned whether replacing the filter would be something I could do myself.  He asked why I wanted to know.   I explained I had just come from the auto repair shop where the mechanic said I needed the filter. I did not have the extra $45.00 (labor fee) it would take to have the service performed. The clerk at the auto parts store became obviously annoyed.  He asked me to follow him.  'Where is your car?'  I pointed to my car, and he told me to pop the hood.  He scanned the space, found some sort of container, removed a piece of casing, pulled the part out (it was dripping oil) and put the new filter in its place.  He put the top back on, flipped a lever to secure the casing and said, 'There's your $45.00 labor fee.' I was dumbfounded. I paid for the part, thanked the clerk and drove off.  Once home, I replayed the two events over in my head.  I wondered what else I was being over-charged for and by whom?

     Since that day, I have made it a point to pay attention to who is getting my money and for what.
I have become hyper-vigilant when spending and I make it a point to check receipts, bills, etc. 

My daughter has observed me making phone calls to grocery stores, banks and even my human resource manager about errors that affect my finances. You never know when you might find a price discrepancy at the grocery store, an error in a checking account or a mistake on a payroll check, (like not getting paid for hours worked!).  My child is at the age where she doesn't like to be standing in line with me as I go through the bags and receipt to make sure I have gotten the savings I was supposed to get. However, she is observing good financial management and she understands if I have saved any money I just might use a portion of that to put into our Broadway saving fund.

What can you do to grow your independence?

Wage Gap: What It Means to Us

Hello SWARM Readers!

Depending on your source for information, the gap in wages between men and women is anywhere between .23 cents/hr.  and .28 cents/hr.

You might be thinking,  Hey!  That is not new news.  I know this. But, I want you to think about what this information really means to the single mom.

Consider this... If the average of the wage gap was .25 cents, this means, that for every dollar a man makes, the woman makes .75 cents.

So...

MAN:             Rate of pay                      $ 1.00/hr        

WOMAN:      Rate of pay                           .75 cents/hr   

                       Pay Difference:                     .25cents/hr                                                                  

MAN:            40 hr week,  pay check:       $40.00

WOMAN:     40 hr week,  pay check:       $30.00

                      Pay Difference:                    $10.00

MAN:            Monthly Pay:                    $160.00       

WOMAN:     Monthly Pay:                    $120.00

                       Pay Difference                 $  40.00

MAN:           Yearly Income                  $2,080.00

WOMAN:     Yearly Income                 $1,560.00      

                       Pay Difference                $   520.00

In this scenario, the man is pocketing $520 dollars more than the woman.  He has $520  dollars more money in a year. Over ten years he will have more than $5,200 dollars!!!  Of course, this is the difference when the pay scale starts at  $1.00/hour.

But, let's get real. More likely the man is making $20.00 an hour, so, at 25% less,  the woman would then make $15.00 an hour.  This would translate into:

                    40 Hours Work Week:

                                   Man    20.00 x 40 hours  =  $ 800.00

                              Woman   15.00 x 40 hours   =  $ 600.00

                                   Weekly Pay Difference  =  $200.00

                   4 Week Month:

                                   Man:                 $800 x 4  =  $3,200.00

                             Woman:                  $600 x 4  =  $2,400.00

                                 Monthly Pay Difference   =   $  800.00

                           Yearly Salary: *based on 52 weeks 

                                   Man:             800 x 52     =   $ 41,600

                              Woman:             600 x 52    =    $ 31,200

                                    Yearly  Pay Difference =   $ 10,400

In ten years, the female worker is being shortchanged $104,000.00.  

Let me put this another way.  Say a man and a woman both want to purchase a home.  The price of the house is $100,000.  They need to save $10,000 for a 10% down payment.  Looking at the yearly figures above, you can see that the man only has to cut back his spending to that of his female counterpart (same job-different wage) in order to save the money.  And it would only take him one year.  The woman, on the other hand, would have a deeper cut into her spendings and it would take her much longer than a year to save up the $10,000.  For every paycheck that she has to cut into for the down payment savings, she has to take away from her other necessary savings, (i.e. emergency funds, 401K, or other future needs).  The quality of her life potentially suffers.  Although, it is her choice to sacrifice to save and purchase a home, shouldn't she have the same quality of life that her male counterpart has during the saving process?  Shouldn't she be paid the same wage that he is for doing the same job?  

Of course she should!  But, we live in the real world where inequality still exists and because of the many discrepancies in this life, we must adapt and move forward, regardless.  SWARM is here to help. 

So the goal of this blog is to provide information to help improve the quality of your life.  We will aim to provide you with information that will enlighten you and help you. I hope this post has given you reason to ponder...

Greetings Swarm Readers!

     I would like to give you an idea of how this blog will work.  As single moms we are often pressed for time and rushing through life.  We have appointments to keep, extracurriculars to attend, work to be present for, and people who depend on us (waiting expectantly for guidance and assistance).  With all that going on how do you have time for everything...and do you?  Who or what will get shortchanged?  Most likely it will be YOU!  That's just how it works when you are a single mom.  So, part of what this blog's job will be is to be a one stop shop for information and insight.  Our goal is to improve the quality of our lives and we believe that the information we share will help you.  As the course of this plan unfolds, we will be learning how to improve our lives one day at a time.  There will be topics of information that you may not need, just as there will be topics that you may want more information than what we have shared.  In either case, stay tuned because we will approach the subject matter from angles and opinions that originate from single moms and from those considered 'experts' in their fields.

     We're sure you will learn something that will help some aspect of your life.  We will explore ways that single moms approach life's uncertainties.  For instance, did you know that many single moms buy life insurance and name their children as the beneficiaries. They believe that by doing so, they are helping out their children.  However, that is not the best way to help the children.  In fact,  moms need to set up a trust from the insurance, and have an executor make sure the children get what they need from the money in the event something happens to the mom.  This is the type of information single moms need, and in a future post, we will explore all the reasons why not to name your children (under 18 years) as beneficiaries of your life insurance policy.

     We are very excited to bring you the SWARM blog and any and all bits of information that will help improve the quality of your life!

Hello Readers!

     As you may know from being single moms, support is one of our most important needs.  We know that when we have a good support system, wonderful things happen in our lives, including reduced stress levels, increased energy, and we can stay focused and on task.  I wrote  'good support', because there is a difference between good and bad support.  People need to know the difference and choose the good.
     So how does one know the difference?  Well, women are known to  'get feelings' about situations in life that can help them make decisions.  Sometimes it is referred to as 'women's intuition'.   Men, on the other hand, don't get feelings, instead they get gut feelings.  So what do you do with the feelings?  You listen to them.  Think about how you feel when you consider the support that you are getting.  Do you feel confident? Calm? Strong?  You should! Because that's how you should feel when you have a good support system.
     On the other hand...support that makes you feel anxious, weak, or nervous is bad.  Example: If you have a system in place for child care, but you tend to walk away feeling concerned or are full of anxiety, then these feelings are telling you this is not a good system.  You must reconsider this system and replace it with support that leaves you feeling good, energized and powerful.
     Because single moms need different types of support, we must receive it from various groups (i.e. family, friends, co-workers, etc.)  However, unless there are single moms amongst these groups, they can't really understand what we have to deal with on a day to day basis.  That is why SWARM exists. We are here to support and encourage and educate!  We are here to enhance any support you are already receiving, and in some cases to offer the only support you may have at this time.  
 

Father's Day

     Hello and Happy Fathers' Day to the men who love a single mom! Today we celebrate the men who are involved and actively raising their children.  As German illustrator and poet Wilhelm Busch stated, 'Becoming a father is easy, but being one can be tough'.  So ... here's to the dads that tough it out, the ones that stay and love and grow their offspring.  Men with integrity!  My dad is one such man!  Thanks Dad, for loving your children and your grandchildren!

     Let's also celebrate the men who are not the biological dads but step in and teach a child to fish, take a niece to the daddy-daughter dance, provide a trip to Disney World.  The men who cut the grass or shovel the snow for a single mom who gets a bit behind on her chores. The ones who accept as payment a  'thank you' and the look of appreciation and relief, for having been thought of and helped.   For all the men who want your child to grow up happy and knowing they are important, we salute you.

     My wish this Father's Day is for all children to have a positive male role model in their life.   So single moms, remember, blood doesn't guarantee a positive male figure.  If you can not secure what your child needs within your family you can look beyond your immediate family for a father figure who can show by example just what it takes to be a man.

Happy Father's Day!

Beginning the blog

     Hello Readers!  This blog, which I am calling Swarm Buzz, is for single moms and those that love them.  Why Swarm Buzz?  Because the definition of 'swarm' is:  a group that works together with a single goal in mind. 'Buzz',  is for the sound bees make while working together to achieve their goal.  I have a facebook page called SWARM which will work in tandem with the blog.  My short term goal is to help moms improve their quality of life through education and information sharing, and my long term goal is to create a resource center for single moms.

     What is a single mom?  I consider a single mom to be a woman who is raising her child(ren) on her own.  What makes a single mom?  Divorce, separation, death, desertion or abandonment, adoption and choice.

     This blog is not to judge, only to lift up.  Because, let's face it... we need it.  Support is one of the most basic needs of a single mom and sometimes, the only way a single mom can get support is through other single moms.  We know the struggle, the pain and the guilt.  And even though the calendar reads 2012, there are still people we meet (or know) with archaic and biased attitudes.

      Not too long ago I was listening to an early morning radio station.  The DJ was advertising an event for the upcoming weekend and told his listeners to "bring all the single moms they can find, 'cuz they are so desperate for attention, they will 'do' anyone".  With that statement he disrespected a lot of women.  Women who are trying to get through the day and raise their children to the best of their ability.  I don't know about you single moms, but dating and 'doing' anyone is not at the top of my list.  Being a good mom is!!!

     This blog is an attempt to reach single moms (and those that love them) in order to share information and stories that will help make life just a little less stressful and less of a struggle. We will share stories from moms who have 'been there, done that' and learn how to handle situations that are single mom specific.  Feel free to add your comments and your own experiences.

SWARM