Happy New Year

Happy New Year Swarm Single Moms!!!

I was just on face-book and noticed many postings of a picture of a book with the caption, "Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 day book.  Write a good one."  This posting was in reference to today being the first of the year and how a new year can equal a new beginning.  Although I am intrigued with the concept of new beginnings and creating the life you want, I have a hard time putting new plans into action on January 1st.   My successful resolutions have always been initiated on any day, except January One!

Perhaps I have a mental block with this date, but I have always found it easier to have the idea of what I want to begin (or end) and then just do it.  I consider life to be an experiment and am willing to try new things just to mix it up a bit.  I try to implement new life strategies after some introspection about what specifically is not working in my life.

For instance, I have had some stressful years and because I have a child to raise, I have had to learn other means of dealing with stress other than what I was used to doing. (Read: party my troubles away).  When you have a child you want them to be better than you are. You want to teach them healthy ways to deal with life issues and drinking away my troubles and anxieties, just did not match my belief systems.

Now this post is not a post about abstaining from social drinking, nor is it a testimonial about how my life has improved since I have learned other means to relieve stress and anxiety.  Instead, I am just hoping this post will inspire you Single Moms to seek healthy ways to improve your life and find new ways to deal with the stressed out life of a single mom.

I have experimented with year long strategies, (resolutions, experiments, etc)  to help myself develop some healthy ways to deal with stress and the following experiments have proven to be successful for me.

A couple of years ago I spent a year praying the rosary every day.  This was a very challenging resolution to maintain.  The reason it was hard is because the best time I could find for myself was at bed time.  Unfortunately, I would fall asleep while reciting the prayers and ended up waking and fighting the urge to go back to sleep until I was done. I did not feel I was getting the full benefit of this meditative act and resolved to take my lunch hour and go sit in my car and de-stress with the rosary. This proved to be the most effective and beneficial way for me to keep this resolution.  Not only did I get out of my work environment, but I was able to have quiet time as I meditated on my life problems and solutions.  After the year was up, I continued this prayer practice, often rotating between the rosary and daily prayer before I left for work.

Sometimes I began the rosary while driving but I would loose my place as I entered work and then I would become engaged in other issues...  I know there are some who pray the rosary throughout the day doing one decade at a time, but that did not work for me.  Apparently, as in much of my life, I am an 'all or nothing' kind of person.  If I can not complete my prayers in one setting, I have to start over later.  It is unproductive for me and a bit frustrating because I like completing my prayers and then moving to action. 

Another year, I abstained from alcohol.  (This might seem very challenging for some to complete, but the year I gave up Pepsi, was so much more challenging.)  You see, I have never been a coffee drinker and, with the exception of the time I spent at school in England, where I drank tea (double banged tea sometimes!!!) my only source of caffeine came from pepsi.  I  learned this habit when I lived for a time in Florida. I was a year out of high school and sharing a house in West Palm Beach with a group of people.  One of the guys from the group kept a boat load of pepsi chilling in the the fridge.  One morning as I was preparing to leave for work, after an evening of staying out too late, he offered me one of his pepsis.  I had never been a big pop drinker as I grew up in the generation that was taught that pop caused acne.  I had acne and wanted to not have acne so not drinking pop was a no-brainer.  However, the pop-acne relationship was eventually disproved and the pepsi tasted divine to me.  The buzzy, prickly descent into my esophagus was quite invigorating and soon, I was hooked.  Drinking pepsi in the morning was a habit I continued into my thirties and it was only after I had my child that I gave up the morning habit, replacing it with a healthy cereal or some other traditional breakfast.)  

Another year I wanted to get in better shape.  I believed my life was too busy to go to a gym, but I joined one anyway and I fell in love with swimming.  I should say I fell back in love with swimming.  I have always loved the water, but I had grown away from  this activity.  Getting back into swimming helped me de-stress (yeah!) and I eventually got back to the groove of swimming where I began to re-experience a swimmer's euphoria.  That was a big, big, bonus.  For those of you who do not swim, there is a feeling you can reach while doing laps, that I would compare to flying, you are skimming the top of the water, timed breathing...it is like you are flying.  And...since I have flown in my dreams I know what I am talking about ((wink!!)).

The year before swimming, I practiced working out - where ever I could.  I took to using the stairs, parked at the far end of the parking lot at work, returned the grocery cart to the furthest cart cage from my car - (not always, but often!)  It was a low maintenance (and free) way to get in shape.  I was putting into practice what the paid trainers will tell you to do.

Sometimes I would walk with co-workers at lunch, but not often if they just were going to vent about work - I wanted to clear my head and chill!   I wanted to take advantage of the time I had.  I had to step up my game however, when I noticed that I was beginning to not recognize my butte anymore.  So I began to do leg lifts and squats.  If I was on the elevator alone, I would do squats.  If I was going up the stairs, I would squeeze my butte cheeks.  I took advantage of all the little patches of time that I was given to help keep my muscles moving.  It worked... and it continues to work today as this is one of those experimental behaviors that I kept.

So the point here is to DO THINGS!!! TRY NEW THINGS!!! Not just because it is the first of the year, but because this is your life and your life will be better when you start making it that way.  

So even though today is the first of January, the beginning of a new year, in all actuality everyday is a new beginning.  You have the chance to improve your live every single day!!!  It does not have to start today, but I do want you to begin to evaluate your life and where you are going.  Think about where you want to be this time next year.  Think about weeding out the bad or unproductive habits you have.

Keep in mind a few discoveries I have learned along the way.

1) If you screw up - start over.  Do not stress, just begin again.

2) If you need to start small, then do so.  I once began a new life journey that was initiated with the habit of shining my shoes every Monday.  Good habits seem to grow out of other good habits.  It is inspiring and motivating.

3) Keep your kids in mind.  Remember, you are the role model for much of their future behaviour.  Be a good and healthy role model.  You all will benefit!!!

Happy New Years Swarm Single Moms.  May the Joy of the Season bring you insight and motivation!